Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Kentot Condi dan lain-lain


Mungkin anda telah membacanya. Saya agak terlewat. Baru jumpa dan ingin berkongsi dengan anda sebuah wawancara George Bush dengan wartawan majalah Rolling Stone, Matt Taibbi pada beberapa hari sebelum Bush mengundur diri dari White House.Temubual ini menjurus kepada sisi lain. Ia dilakukan dalam suasana santai.

Ada cerita lucu dan ada juga cerita menyayat hati. Lucunya, ialah kentot Condoleeza Rice. Kentot ini telah menjadi rahsia umum di White House.Pada ketika itu, kami sedang membincangkan cara untuk mengakhiri pemerintahan diktator, untuk kebebasan dunia. '' At one point I turn to Condi and I say, "So, Condi, what do you think?" And she's like, "Mr. President, I think you should — "

Setelah beberapa patah kata itu keluar ,''Ppppllllfft! '' Kedengaran seperti mesin gergaji. ''We have this painting of the Rio Grande by an artist named Tom Lea in the Oval Office, and I swear to you that thing swung three inches sideways. She started looking around all innocent-like, like, "Gosh, who did that?" It was hilarious.

Beberapa lama selepas itu, Condi mengaku akan kentot tersebut.Bush tidak pula mencerita bagaimana bau kentot Condi itu.

Kah, Kah, Kah, Kah...

Namun begitu, ada juga cerita yang menyedihkan tentang Manny, seorang budak asal Loas yang dipungut oleh Jabatan Negara Amerika--He's a Laotian kid named Manny, nice boy, has a lazy eye, a stutter and a big mole on his neck. Ketika itu dia menjadi budak penghantar kopi. Sedang Dick Cheney berdebat tentang teknik penyiasatan menggunakan teknik waterbounding dengan Donald Rumsfeld samaada ia sah atau tidak. Budak Laos itu dipanggil, So Rummy says, "Hey, Manny, can you do me a favor? Can you lie on this table?" And Manny is like, "Y-y-y-yes, Secretary R-r-r-rumsfeld."

Teknik waterbounding satu kaedah penyeksaan yang sedang hangat diperkatakan sekarang.

Manny pun menelentang di atas meja, matanya ditutup dengan sapu tangan. Dan, Dick menjirus air ke mulut dan hidung Manny.

"C-c-c-can't b-b-b-reathe!" Manny gasps, and Dick is like, "We know, Manny, that's why we're doing this. Just relax."

Selepas itu, Rummy mula menuang kopi panas ke telinga dan mata Manny,
and Manny screams, at which point Dick says, "No, Don, it's not about temperature or burning, it's all about drowning."

Lagi air dijurus ke hidung Manny. Manny is kicking and screaming, and Dick finally starts getting mad. "You're making a lot of noise, Manny. You're going to have to calm down."

Bukan sahaja air dijirus, Rummy menyala pemetik api dan mencucuh di telinga Manny menyebabkan ia kesakitan. Dick berhujah waterbounding ini tidak sah tapi dibantah Rummy. Sedar-sedar Manny telah meninggal dunia atas ujikaji tidak berperikemanusian itu. Dengan kesimpulan mudah Manny berada ditempat dan waktu yang salah. ''We had to get a new houseboy'',kata Bush.Mudahnya Amerika. Macam barang mainan diperlakukannya.

Untuk membaca versi asal, baca di http://www.rollingstone.com/

(Bush Apologizes: The Farewell Interview We Wish He'd Give)

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